It goes without saying that patriarchy in India prevails to a large extent. While atrocities against women are common in our nation, when we look at the larger picture, it’s not just women who suffer here. Though differently, men in India have their own battles to fight. It isn’t easy being a woman, but it isn’t a cakewalk being a man either.
We’re aware of the fact that gender equality is a major issue in a rigid society like ours, we’re far from really acting on it. The only way we can stop this is by putting an end to gender policing. A man can cry, and a woman can use tools just as well. And it all starts with what we teach our impressionable little kids at home, and in school. Let’s not teach them how to be more masculine or feminine, but how to be compassionate, good human beings.
Police brutality, what’s that??
When it comes to making sacrifices, Indian women seem to have a monopoly on the matter. Womankind pride themselves in the ability to not just give, but to give to such an extent that it robs the. Mums, wives, sisters, daughters, aunts, all have this notion that sacrificing something for someone you love is the ultimate way to let them know you care for them. That you place their demands and well-being over everything else.
It is not about that last roti though, women willingly turn into sacrificial lambs at every occasion in their life. They give up careers to bear children, they stop wearing a certain kind of clothes to appease their husbands, they change their lifestyle to keep their in-laws happy. Not just that, women take pride in their ability to sacrifice.
Has that got something to do with the way we are brought up? Aren’t young girls conditioned to be caregivers and people-pleasers since the day they are born? In teaching them to put their needs below that of everyone else, society sets them up for a lifetime of compromises. This does nothing but internalise the association of sacrifice to the gender. Women judge other women who put themselves first and call them self-centered. They deem women who don’t give up their career to embrace motherhood, or “adjust” accordingly in their matrimonial homes as selfish.
Can an empty glass quench someone’s thirst? This is why women need to stop being the chief sacrifice officers. It is okay to grab onto that last slice of pizza sometimes. Women need to realise that making a sacrifice isn’t the only and the most acceptable way to emulate love and affection. Your children will still love you if you refuse to share your ice-cream with them.
Sacrifice shouldn’t become a habit or need or a way of gaining love and validation. Because if someone is with you just for what you are willing to give up for them, and not for who you are, then isn’t that a predatory relationship?
It is not about that last roti though, women willingly turn into sacrificial lambs at every occasion in their life. They give up careers to bear children, they stop wearing a certain kind of clothes to appease their husbands, they change their lifestyle to keep their in-laws happy. Not just that, women take pride in their ability to sacrifice.
Has that got something to do with the way we are brought up? Aren’t young girls conditioned to be caregivers and people-pleasers since the day they are born? In teaching them to put their needs below that of everyone else, society sets them up for a lifetime of compromises. This does nothing but internalise the association of sacrifice to the gender. Women judge other women who put themselves first and call them self-centered. They deem women who don’t give up their career to embrace motherhood, or “adjust” accordingly in their matrimonial homes as selfish.
Can an empty glass quench someone’s thirst? This is why women need to stop being the chief sacrifice officers. It is okay to grab onto that last slice of pizza sometimes. Women need to realise that making a sacrifice isn’t the only and the most acceptable way to emulate love and affection. Your children will still love you if you refuse to share your ice-cream with them.
Sacrifice shouldn’t become a habit or need or a way of gaining love and validation. Because if someone is with you just for what you are willing to give up for them, and not for who you are, then isn’t that a predatory relationship?
